pumice stone.

“Who knows when an esteemed guest of yours — well, technically ours — will come up to me after dinner, during drinks, nursing some fine champagne, and say, ‘Be a good sport Edward and tell me: how is your pedicure? Have you had your feet and toenails done recently? And if yes, do you go to a health club for your treatment or do you have someone who does house-calls? Any nail funguses? Or fungi? What’s the word? An ingrown toenail? I’ve had calluses, have you? Do you use pumice stone? I guess you get top class trimming, right? I assume you don’t have a foot condition, do you? Apart from dead skin, but then: dead skin — we all have that, right?’”

Mr Edward Perez, sitting on the floor, in his tuxedo minus shoes and socks, clipping his toenails in the master bathroom half an hour after guests began to arrive at the Perez residence, in response to his wife’s question: “Just what the hell are you doing Ed messing up my bathtub?”